Orphanage Visit Day

Today was a super hard day emotionally for us and for Avery.  We woke up extra early to leave the hotel by 9am heading to the Chongqing Social Welfare Institute where she has lived her entire life.  We had some playtime in the lobby before leaving and Avery really started to show her personality.  She danced and ran to me while we played.  She let us hold her hand and walk all over the lobby together.  She giggled and smiled so much.  We were both so pleased at her progress and I was even a little mad that we had to go to the orphanage today since she was showing such good signs of adjusting.  Once the van got there, we took the long drive over to the orphanage.  In the van, Avery wanted to sit facing me which was a great change from the previous day.  I taught her "patty cake" as we rode which she loves the "roll em up" part.  Michael shared with us a lot about the Chinese life as we drove over starting with elementary school at the age of 7.  The children go to school from 8am to 6 or 7pm daily six days a week.  Can you imagine our little ones going to school longer than we are at work?  Then as middle schooler's the day lasts even longer and high school lasts until 9:30pm with hard homework until 1 or 2am.  It is a true job to be a student here in China and their is no public school.  Parents must pay for their children to attend the schools here.  Also, in high school, the students are studying for one big test...the college entrance exam.  From this test, the student is then told where to go to college and what they should study.  Reminds me of the Bee Movie.  Children, I mean bees, are raised to do a certain job and not allowed to explore other options.  As David Platt would say "Ha!"  I would never have qualified to be a pharmacist in this culture.

As we walked up the hill to her orphanage, it hit me hard for her.  She was excited and recognized home.  Outside the orphanage there is a playground, where most of the pictures we received of her were taken.  A hospital for women was right beside the orphanage which looked very nice.  The orphanage was very nice and clean.  It was decorated like a daycare with classrooms in the main areas. As we walked in the doors, she immediately wanted down out of my arms.  Her nanny was not in the room yet, but she was looking for her and also smiling at the other nanny's.  The assistant director sent for her nanny, but she was taking care of a whole class of little ones.  She came back and took us up the elevator to see her nanny.  Avery lit up like we have never seen! I mean the picture below says it all.  I handed her nanny the special gift we had gotten just for her and she said thank you, but pushed it aside to hold Avery.  We left our donations on a shelf outside the room as we were told.

 The nanny's were gracious in trying to include us in all that was going on.  One pulled out her phone and played a song called "Little Apple" and Avery danced and did motions with them.  It was super cute to see her in her element.  She just kissed her Mama's cheeks and patted her face over and over.  I tried not to cry, but just couldn't help it.  Keith was great about getting all the photos and the boys said it smelled like melted butter in there.

Pictures of Avery hanging in the hallway.

She was definitely a favorite.

This is her bed and her best friend slept beside her.  He was adopted a few weeks ago and lives in Alaska now.

 After seeing her room and meeting another little 3 year old boy up for adoption, we were led out of her room back to the open area and her Nanny disappeared.  Avery took notice and began crying out for her.  It was heart wrenching.  The loss for her was more than I wanted to bear.  Another lady took our family outside to the playground and she somewhat settled after a milk box.  This was our photo at the playground.  Overall, I am glad that we did go to visit the orphanage and allow her the time to say a proper goodbye to her nanny.  The nanny told her that we were her family now and kind of gave her permission to go with us, if that makes sense.  Avery has seemed lighter emotionally since the visit, so it was worth it for her.

 After the orphanage, Michael drove us to the next little town where her finding spot was.  It's name means "town of fish", so this is a picture of the sculpture in the middle of the area.  The town has a lot of shopping areas and overlooks a body of water on one side.  Nice little town.

 This is the picture of the lady from right outside the van window that I mentioned from yesterday.  We keep laughing because it's so close, it looks like we actually met her.  Nope, she is a pedestrian.

On the ride home, Avery fell asleep on my chest and that was her nap.  We went to eat a Papa John's for lunch and she entertained us well.  She started to come out of her shell more and more as the day went on.  Avery loves the stroller and points to it when she is out of it saying "Da" which must mean go.  So, I guess we will be looking for a stroller when we get home.  She also loved throwing the ball with Eli and playing with Matt's power ranger, but Matt didn't think it was too fun.  Matt and Eli wanted some alone playtime so we let them go into the other room for a few hours before dinner.  Avery enjoyed the one-on-one time as we colored and played with stacking cups and a bottle with puffs in it.  She loves cleaning up, putting things in their place and getting them out again.  She still doesn't like the bath and even got mad at me tonight.  Once I got her dressed she reached for Keith and sat with him on the sofa for a while and eventually fell asleep in his lap.  It was so sweet and he needed that time with her choosing him. 

We are blessed by your prayers and absolutely can not wait to see your faces again.  God is good in granting us this time as a family to just focus on her and it is even a gift to do it another a culture as it gives us a glimpse of what she will feel like once back home.  We have a lot to look forward to, but trying to stay in this moment for as long as we can.

Avery is officially a McDonald

Day 2 looked much different, thankfully.  She woke up happy and hungry.  We ate breakfast in the hotel and she ate Congee (a type of runny grit looking porridge).  She sat with Keith and that was a big milestone.  We got our first smile as she played with chopsticks.  She bangs them together loudly then softly as she makes music.  Avery loves to hum, sing and dance we have discovered.  She fits right in with all of us.

After breakfast, we ventured over to the nice mall nearby to explore the toy store/ baby store.  It is similar to Toys R Us, but much smaller scale.  The boys wanted to find a souvenir and we needed to purchase diapers to donate to the orphanage on our visit.  We get lots of stares here as an American family of blonde, tall people, but even more now with an Asian daughter.  Women call out to Avery as mae mae (little girl) which is ironic as that is what all my nephews call me.  She usually responds to them with at least a look their way.  It was truly nice to have a child in the store that didn't want anything in the store.  Avery wasn't interested in any doll or any toy we showed her.  I am certain that won't last long as Matt purchased a Power Ranger with his money and Eli purchased a Star Wars light saber/gun set. We did, however, purchase a Chinese Barbie doll dressed in traditional Chinese clothing to put up for her. In China, the taxes are included in all that you purchase and stuff is so stinking cheap (probably more like what it is actually worth).  We can eat out as a family of 5 for under $40 at white table cloth type restaurant.  We can eat at KFC for under $20 easily.  That has been a complete blessing to us since we have to eat out every meal.  After our mall adventure, we came back and ordered room service which is inexpensive as well.  Avery had wonton soup, Eli had seafood fried rice and Matt had a burger.  After lunch, we decided I should try to let Avery nap as we were scheduled to leave the hotel at 2pm for the Adoption Center.  She napped on me for about 30 minutes. 
At 2pm, we climbed into the van to go back to the Adoption Center for our official paperwork to be signed and our adoption ceremony.  The driving here is worthy of a post itself.  The culture here is based on drive and determination to get ahead, so just as they walk they also drive cars.  By this, I mean, there is no "excuse me" or "waiting politely" for someone to pass before you cut in front of them.  No, it is blow and go and get run over if you pause.  I saw a man pulling a wooden wheelbarrow almost take a lady in a skirt and heels out on the sidewalk today because he didn't slow down for her.  Literally, Keith has a photo of a lady standing so close to our van as we pass that I asked him when he met her as I looked through his pictures.  He said, she was just standing there as we went by.  We laughed so hard at this.  There are lanes marked on the roads, but I guess as suggestions only because its like a race out there.  Anyway, back to the Adoption Center.  Avery was much more energy filled and happy as she walked the room with her light up shoes.  She spoke to the women workers there and they knew her by Fei Fei (pronounced Fay Fay).  We went into the little room pictured above to take our oath to love and educate her well.  We answered a few questions and were given her adoption certificate with lots of photos and tears of joy.  She is the 35th adoption of the year 2015 which is not a very high number considering there are 500 children in her orphanage alone.  If you have ever had a notion to extend your family through adoption, let me encourage you to pray fervently about it.  These children are waiting for a forever family and God is waiting to expand your heart for them.  If we can encourage you or pray for you in anyway, please don't hesitate to ask.  

Our group after the ceremony.  Praise God for 3 less orphans!  (funny about this photo, Avery kept hitting Eli in the head)

 We went back to the hotel afterwards for some playtime and dinner.  The bath was no better tonight as I put her in the tub, she cried for her Mama again.  We got it done, but it hurts my soul.  Bath time with the boys was such a great time for us, I looked forward to it almost every night.  I pray she will grow to love it too.  Avery ate well all day and didn't even take her night time bottle.  She slept with us and slept all night with only 1 episode of whimpers.  Much progress made today, glory be to God for fighting for families and fighting harder for orphans. 

Psalms 32:8-11 has been my focus today.

"I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with my eye upon you.  Be not like a horse or a mule, without understanding, which must be curbed with bit and bridle, or it will not stay near you.  Many are the sorrows of the wicked, but steadfast love surrounds the one who trusts in the Lord."
"Be glad in the Lord, and rejoice, O righteous, and shout for joy, all you upright in heart!"

September 14, 2015 we gained another little pair of shoes at our door. Gotcha Day was a success.  We said goodbye to 4 and excitedly embraced 5.  We traveled via a van about 30 minutes from the hotel to the Adoption Center of Chongqing where we waited with 2 other families by the door until lunch ended.  Lunch here for government workers is 2 hours.  While waiting in the hallway, Avery and her Nannies came off the elevator in a huge hurry.  We got to see our first glimpse of her as she was rushed by.  We followed them into this empty courthouse like room.  It was nothing like I imagined, I thought the room would be full of families waiting on little ones as I had heard in the past, but it was just our 3 families.  As soon as we rounded the corner, Michael called out McDonald.  I didn't even have time to put down the bag of gifts I was carrying nor did Keith have time to get the camera ready before the nanny had her in my arms.  She immediately begin crying and crying out for her Mama.  It was so hot in the building as it is in all the buildings in China, so her cries only brought more heat.  As a mother, you want to be able to soothe your baby, but I had nothing that would work.  We played the distraction game, while Daddy asked the nanny the list of questions we had written.  Daddy did great and wrote down all this answers which helped Mommy a lot later.  Matt and Eli were snapping pictures with our phone and did a great job bringing toys from her bag to try to help settle her.  Meanwhile, the other families and children were super excited about their new families.  We heard them calling them Mama and Papa and giving hugs and kisses.  That was extremely hard, but I just kept holding onto the fact that Avery had been loved well which meant that she was going to grieve hard and that was a great thing for us in the long term.  One day she will love us with that deep love we have longed for and it will be a testimony to her nanny, Xahn, who taught her the very sacrificial love of Christ daily without even knowing it.  Our new friend, Meredith, also came to support us and brought a bag full of Chinese goodies for Avery.  Avery loves the soft, sweet rolls (like King Rolls in the USA) that Meredith brought the best.  We were thankful for her being there and for her soothing words to Avery.

Avery brought a bag with her that was filled with a few diapers, a bottle, formula, snacks, candy and a beautiful scrapbook of her life their at the orphanage.  It is beautifully written in Chinese characters accented with photos and her hand/foot prints from all ages.  It is definitely a treasure to keep.  Her nanny had also stuffed one of her little pockets full of candy.  We found it on the bus ride back to the hotel and that settled her even more.  Our girl loves hard candies!

That first day at the hotel with us, she was unexpressive (as was expected with so much change).  She allowed us to play with her and watched us, but with no eye contact hardly at all.  She was sad and we could tell it.  She fell asleep with me rocking her around 5:30pm while the boys went out to get dinner.  I was able to pray over her while she slept and God truly comforted me during that time.  While adoption is one of the most wonderful things God has created, it is also one of the hardest emotional things that God has created.   As I sit here reliving every detail, I am just weeping at the loss I saw in my daughter's eyes.  Avery woke up around 7:00 and we attempted a bath.  She did not like it at all, cried for her Mama the entire time.  I basically sponged her off and washed her hair quickly.  We got her dressed for bed and gave her a bottle then she slept on my chest the entire night.  I would try to put her down and she would whimper and eventually climbed back up each time by herself.  She woke up 7 to 10 times not being able to settle herself.  Thankfully, she likes to be rocked so I would rock her until she fell asleep again.  That was sweet bonding time for us as mother and daughter.

 Our first picture of all 3 of our monkey's!

Her first nap with us wrapped in the blanket that was so sweetly prayed  over by our friends before we came to China.  A beautiful picture of God wrapped all around her.  We love you Avery Lane McDonald (Fei Fei) and we are so thankful for the journey God has us on with you.  Welcome to the McDonald Family!

Yesterday we found our way around with our guide, Michael.  He took us to Wal-Mart to buy an umbrella stroller ($33/219 yen) and to the local market, Bravo.  The Chinese love candies, but they are not sweet like you would think based on the wrapper.  The green gummy like candy we tried was thick like a tofu texture and not sweet at all.  Of course, Matt loved it and the rest of us will pass next time.
A friend from work has a cousin, Meredith, who has lived here for 2 years, so we met her family for dinner.  We had Papa John's pizza which was delicious!  They are wonderful people and made Chongqing feel a little smaller and more quaint than before.  Meredith is actually meeting us today at the adoption center to help take photos/video and be there for help with communication along with Michael.  God has taken such good care of us here and provided for our every need.
Here are some pictures from the humid city and our day. The first pic is the candy bar from the market.  The city pics are our view from our hotel window.  The last is Meredith and myself after Papa John's in the public park area.
We meet Avery this afternoon and we are all excited!  We miss you all and appreciate you so much!

Just the Beginning

It's been a really long time since we posted anything on the blog but we have been quite busy.  On April 13th we received a file (Adoption Terminology) and we were ecstatic.  We reviewed everything and after prayerful consideration decided that we had found our little girl.  Avery is to be her name and she is perfect.  September 2nd she turned 3 and we will be going to China soon to get her.  Most people would consider us nearing the end of our Adoption Journey but we consider it to be Just the Beginning.  God has been so very faithful in every way.  His timing has been perfect even though we didn't think so all of the time.  A couple of weeks after we accepted Avery's file China gave their approval for us to adopt her.  Then things started moving quickly.  A few more weeks went by and some other hurdles were cleared and then we got our Travel Approval.  We did have to delay for a little while to arrange for work stuff but soon she'll be in our arms.  

God has been leading, comforting, and teaching the entire way and we are honored that He chose us to be Avery's parents.  Matt and Eli are nervous to fly but excited to go see their little sister.  I think Eli is especially excited because he now gets to be a Big Brother.  We probably won't post anything anywhere but this blog until we're back home with her just for safety reasons.  Thank You all for your prayers and keep them coming.  We appreciate each and every one of you that have supported us physically, spiritually, and financially.  God has used each of you to touch our lives and accomplish His will.  The past 3 years have been a roller coaster but we know that God is in control of everything.  We are just glad to be part of His plan.

Happy Brithday Avery Lane!

It's been a long time since we updated and a lot has happened.  We are 12 days away from traveling to China to hold our sweet Avery for the first time and I can't express how excited we are.  I have imagined this day since day one of us committing to adopt.  What the first moment of looking into her eyes would be like?  Almost as vividly as I have imagined looking into to Jesus' eyes for the very first time.  In 12 days, her life will look much different and while we sit in anticipation of this day, she may not.  Her loss will be real, she will grieve where she has grown up and who she knows and who provides for her.  She will miss her friends and the smells of her life in Chongqing, China.  We pray that the loss will not outweigh the gain, but know that it will take time.

Today our girl turns 3!  Avery will celebrate with her friends today and eat the cake we were able to send her.  (Next year, Edgar's it is!) My thoughts automatically drift to her birth Mom on this day.  It brings me to my knees in prayer for her.  How hard this day must be as she must relive that moment over and over in her head and heart.  I pray for God to grant her peace and comfort.  She is an amazing woman in my eyes, she loved her daughter enough to give her a chance at life.  She knew she couldn't provide a life for her, but hoped that someone could.  What a sacrifice, what a heartbreak, what a love...

Happy Birthday Sweet Girl!
We love you~
Mom, Dad, Matt and Eli

Sharing...

Today we received the best gift of the Christmas Season!  
Background:
We have been talking with our oldest son, Matt (8 years old), about what it means to be a Christ follower for months now.  We have asked him how he feels about waiting on Christ's return?  His answer: He was excited, but nervous too because he wasn't sure if God had chosen him to be apart of His kingdom.  We began pouring into Matt with the truth that God had already chosen him, He sent Jesus to die for him and that all God was waiting on was for him (Matt) to trust Him with his life.  Matt asked some questions and we talked about this again for several nights.  I finally asked him "What was stopping him from confessing to God that He needed and wanted Him to be in his heart?"  He said he wasn't sure.  So, that was a few weeks ago....

Today:  
David Platt preached an awesome sermon about what Christmas is truly about. There were no Sunday School classes today for the children, so they were in service with us.  Matt also had a friend join us for church today which made it all the more proof to me that it was God at work in his little heart.  Matt usually doesn't listen much to the sermon and falls asleep if he can sneak it in on us.  He is usually fully distracted when a friend is any where near us, but today was different.  Matt listened so intently to the sermon and when David asked "are you certain that you are going to spend eternity in Heaven?"...I was watching Matt, but he didn't know that I was.  He said "yes" and David asked several other questions about knowing Jesus as your personal Savior...Matt answered "yes" to those too.  Next came communion.  We have explained to him over and over that he can't join us in communion until He has asked Jesus into his heart and been baptized as a believer.  Today, he was begging to participate and saying that he had asked Jesus into his heart.  With tears in my eyes and joy in my heart, I said "Yes buddy, you can have mine".  Seeing him take communion and be excited and joyful about it, made me thank God that much more!  You pray for their hearts to seek God and for them to truly have a relationship with the Lord, but when it happens...it is such a gift.  That transition from your child to your brother in Christ is as powerful as the day they became your child.  We are looking forward to the discussions in the days ahead and to seeing how God will chose to use him for his glory, but for now and for this Christmas, I am rejoicing that my oldest child will be in Heaven with us one day praising our King!   

I feel like our job as parents has gotten that much bigger...pray for us and for him as we help him deepen his relationship with Christ.

On the adoption front:  We are still in the home study process.  Keith has to complete his autobiography and individual interview.  We are pushing to have the home study complete by the end of January.  We have lots of Hague training ahead and completing our child desired forms.  Please pray for clarity as we decide exactly what special needs we are equipped to handle and what we are not equipped for as a family.  This is one of the hardest sections of the process so far.  May God Bless you all and Merry Christmas!